My vision is of a society that embraces a new mindset where relationships are founded in freedom, openness, sharing, mutual respect and abundance. Coming from a broken home, where cheating tore my family apart, I have experienced the impact where these principles weren’t present. I wonder if polyamory was accepted, socially sanctioned and supported if my life would have been different. I wonder if my family could have stayed intact and my life would have been different.
The freedom to admit my attraction to others and be able to act on it is a freedom I want for everyone who desires it. What would the world look like if we had no sense of ownership or exclusivity with our partners? Would families stay together? Would relationships last longer? Would people support friends with multiple partners instead of judging and assuming it’s abusive?
Exploring these questions and providing skills for people to navigate multiple relationships respectfully, mindfully and with integrity is the inspiration for Your Relationship Toolbelt. It was created with the vision of a freedom in relationships creating more love in the world, in mind.
Years ago I fell in love with someone who was married with kids. I didn’t want to break up his marriage and so I tried everything I could think of to change how I felt. It didn’t work. I realised that I couldn’t control my heart, nor did I want to try to control someone else’s.
I wish there had been more resources when I was first non-monogamous. There were virtually no tools for navigating polyamory well. I made a lot of mistakes and lost some valuable connections as a result. Had I been free of shame, clear about boundaries, able to communicate my desires honestly, able to respect all our differences with love and joy, and tapped into wise support around polyamory, my journey would have looked very different.
My vision is of a world where people are both free and empowered to follow their heart with integrity, compassion, joy and wisdom. I want to live in a world where difference is seen as a potential source of strength rather than threat. I long for communication skills to be taught in primary school. I am absolutely committed to doing my bit to raise the level of love, self-awareness, and honest communication in the world. Your Relationship Toolbelt is one of the delicious fruits of that journey.