Finding love in this day and age is quite difficult. Some cynics may even say it all boils down to chemicals and self-benefit. It’s truly unfortunate how relationships have gotten so complicated that the situation is listed as a Facebook option.
One of the more unlucky cases of misplaced love and affection is to be found in one-sided relationships. This is when one partner feels more for the other person. The feelings are not reciprocated or even taken seriously for the most part. Read on to find out the signs for such partnerships and make sure you’re not a part of one:
It’s not just enough to have strong feelings for the other person. This is not what would or could make a relationship work. The main basis for a decent working connection between two people is that they respect each other. This means that even when things go wrong in everyday life, they do not cross personal boundaries.
If your partner is abusive in a mental, physical, emotional or any other manner, this relationship is probably all you. You’re the one putting up with this rubbish every single day, while they just let loose with their inner demons.
Hence, you should see if your relationship is consisting only of making one person feel good all the time. You may also be the abusive one if you expect your significant other to cater to your moods all the time. This is not love; it’s just a place to build up and feed your ego.
If the relationship is for real, both parties would find themselves respecting each other’s professions, choices, interests, etc. They would also value what the other person brings to the bond they have. Belittling and taunting is definitely a red flag, as is playing twisted mind games.
If one person is constantly not available emotionally or physically, the other person may be staying just for the challenge. It’s human nature for some people to pursue a challenge and let go of what comes easily. However, this sort of behaviour or attitude is not necessarily the wisest choice.
More often than not, if you’re with someone because they don’t pay attention to you, the charm would soon fade. The minute they start taking an interest, you could lose interest yourself, or vice versa. This sort of momentary fascination is a very strong sign of a one-sided relationship.
If you are pulled in by the fact of the other person not being available, you may want to be unavailable too. This means that the relationship would not be taken seriously on both sides. In which case, it’s mutually understood to be just a casual fling.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of self-help and how-to books on love, relationships, and dating. Both men and women are somewhat guilty of reading up on love connections in order to understand their own. Perhaps women do this more often, but men often have their own little ways of implementing rules and plans. Barney’s Playbook in the popular sitcom How I Met Your Mother is a gross parody of this phenomenon.
However, the solutions provided by such tips and tricks are temporary at best and useless at worst. The fact is that relationships are all different and cannot really be confined to a set of rules. Hence, if you or your partner is dependent on some rules to connect, it may be time to reevaluate. You may find yourself using these rules to get their attention every time. It may work once or twice, but it won’t always. And when it doesn’t, the resulting frustration and disappointment could lead to frequent fighting or even a breakup.
The concept of arm candy is a simple one. A person, mostly a rich or popular individual, simply wants someone who would look good with them. They may hence court an attractive person just for the sake of their company on certain public events. While this is all well and good, it is certainly not the basis for a strong, two-sided relationship.
With the advent of social media, the concept of having arm candy or a trophy spouse/partner is becoming more widespread. This is because one wants to show off their life as being perfect on their social media profiles. They may hence post beautiful pictures of themselves with their significant other. However, they may also be posting about the emotional rollercoaster they are on instead of reaching out to this significant other.
Hence, one should make sure that neither party is simply with the other person because they tick some very shallow boxes. For teen in high school, a boy being a jock may be enough for a girl to want to be with him. For men at all stages of life, dating and even marrying women just for their looks is not unheard of.
In any case, unfortunately, the relationship would always be skewed, with one person feeling more than the other. This is liable to end in heartbreak and agony simply because the basis itself was as fake as it gets.
In the modern day and age, it may be easy to find and connect with someone online. In fact, more and more people have stories of meeting online and getting into committed relationships through this platform. However, you want to make sure that your connection isn’t just based on your online chatting, texting, or Skype videos.
To put it simply; technology is simply not a replacement for actual human interaction. It is, in fact, a way to tide us over in cases of need. If your significant other is on a business trip, it may be capable to communicate online 24/7. However, this should be a strictly temporary setup. If there is no semblance of a relationship in the real world, the online world just isn’t going to cut it.
It’s not uncommon to feel more comfortable with texting than calling. In fact, many millennials claim they feel a kind of fear when the phone rings. However, if your partner is making excuses to always text instead of talking face to face, there may be a problem. This is because a text message is just words. And words do not make up a conversation on their own. It is immensely easy to lie on a text. Plus, the lack of facial expressions and tone could make for some serious miscommunications.
Hence, be on high alert if you find your relationship consisting of only texting sessions throughout the day. Schedule some actual interactions, or at least make sure you talk on the phone to wind down at night. If either of you is not interested in doing so regularly, the problem may go deeper than technology addiction.
Sometimes people find themselves in relationships that they cannot disclose to anyone. This may be because they are dating someone famous, which is a whole other case. However, it may be that one of them has some reason for not wanting to go public. If this sort of situation becomes too long-term, one may want to have a long and insightful look at themselves.
If you find yourself introduced as a friend even though you’ve been together for years, it’s probably a one-sided relationship. They may be ashamed of being seen with you or even have another relationship on the side. Whoever the case, the problems needs working out as soon as possible. otherwise, you may lose yourself, your identity, and your self-esteem trying to make things work.
What with modern flings and causal dating becoming so common, true love really is getting harder to locate. However, if you’re the one putting in all the effort in your relationship, don’t be afraid of letting go. It may be the only way you can find true happiness, even if it’s by just being content with yourself.